I met with Napper Tandy
And I shook him by the hand
He said "Hold me up for Chrissake
For I can hardly stand"
The most disgraceful journey
On which I've ever been
The last time that I travelled on
The Boat Train
I had a couple of drinks in town
A few more at the port
I puked up on the gangway
But some kind folks helped me board
They helped me to a table
Poured whiskey down my throat
They sat me at a table
And I lost my watch and coat
First we drank some whiskey
Then we drank some gin
Then we drank tequila
I think that's what did me in
Then we drank some brandy
And the women had a dance
The steward then announced
That we could play the game of "chance"
We crowded round the table
With our money in our hands
I ended up on the other side
Without a penny in my pants
I woke up in the toilet
When we got to Holyhead
The doors were all a-banging
And I wished that I was dead
