This morning it occurred to me
I might not look quite like a natural blonde
And I can’t help but feel conned
The picture on the package showed a model with no baggage
Promising wild sex and marriage
With a big color chart wand
This morning it occurred to me
I never will quite have a supermodel’s legs, (never in a million years)
Unless I cut each one in half
Become half an octopus or to
Become synonymous with cocaine
Glamour, riches, beauty and crack
I took a trip to the national gallery for
There was something more refreshing in what Ruben saw
My supermodel’s legs
Think they were plucked
From a rubenesque world
(Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah)
My supermodel’s legs
Look pretty crap on a
Five foot four girl
(Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah-ah)
Oh women, men and in-betweens
Why don’t you just stop dieting
Go bake, eat cake, go cheer
Drink beer, worrying is b-boring
If people said he looked okay
He wouldn’t want much anyway
And then you wouldn’t stuff your face
And look like king Henry the 8th
Present, we're told off every day
For living our lives the wrong damn way
"Suck my leg, what’s wrong?" I say
If I want six coffees a day
Oh women, men and in-betweens
Why don’t you just stop dieting
Go bake, eat cake, go cheer
Drink beer, worrying is boring me
Oh, I get more turned on by
Pink cupcakes and heroin
Not rock and roll
I’m much more Mary Poppins
Oh, supermodel’s legs
They never held up much weight
In my world, (ooh-ah, ooh-ah)
(Ooh-ah, ooh-ah)
Oh, supermodel’s legs
'Cause women should be women
Girls should be allowed to be girls
(Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah)
